So much has changed since I last posted!
My age, my address, my hair, my friends
Y'all...college is weird.
It's like a small town of lack of sleep and strange smells.
I've successfully tripped on the same piece of concrete every Tuesday and Thursday, my suit mates somehow always manage to walk in while I'm in the bathroom, almost all of my old injuries have returned, and I've only attended two of the wrong classes.
But nonetheless I will say I am enjoying myself, however that statement was not always true.
If you know me at all you know that my body is weird, and if you don't know me - my body is weird.
I'm randomly sick, all the time. Physically and emotionally.
I'd gotten it under control back at home, but once I came here it began to act up again.
I find peace in normality, and if you've ever been to college, you know that nothing about it is normal.
During this time, I began to lean so heavy on God. I didn't know what the dump was happening, because school was not going great, but I knew for sure that this was definitely where I belonged. Man, was I confused.
I couldn't find my safety anymore, and it scared me.
I constantly found myself referring back to my sophomore year, one of the first times I truly felt God's love.
Towards the end of my sophomore year, as I was finishing the one of my worst sickness episodes, I was visiting a church for the second time. We were going to Poland with a team of kids from the church and my dad wanted me to get to know them better. The last time I had visited, my dad was with me the whole time. This time he left me by myself with the other kids. At first I was fine, but as the service started going, my stomach started acting up and instant panic hit me.
If you know what anxiety is, then you know asking for help is not always an option. I had learned that finding your 'happy place' was a way to stop the pain, and for me my happy place at the moment could only be my dad. I tried so hard to ask someone if they knew where my dad was, but I couldn't find the strength.
I started to panic, "I can't find my dad, God, please help me" and then He goes all Star Wars on me, "I am your Father, too."
And it stopped.
We always say in church, God the Father and I am a child of God, but we so easily pass by the meaning behind those terms.
I can't even explain the amount of peace that overwhelmed me. I wish I could express how powerful that moment was in my life, but these words are the only way I can.
And during my first moments in college, I needed that story so bad. God is in control, and by golly everything happens for a reason. I'm finding my place here, and my place in His plan. If I've learned one thing in college it's that listening to God is necessary, and that gen eds are actually awful.
So I hope through my story, you can find comfort in your Heavenly Father.
Psalm 46:1-3
God is our refuge and strength,
an ever-present help in trouble. Therefore we will not fear, though the earth give way and the mountains fall into the heart of the sea, though its waters roar and foam and the mountains quake with their surging.
God Bless,
Kasia!
Also, proof that I have made a life and dyed my hair.
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